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Benaughty is owned by a company called Cupid plc, and this company also owns a large number of practically identical dating websites.When navigating the website, every now and again you will see a message similar to the one below: If you check the box and hit update, your profile on Benaughty will now appear on as well.They want you to believe that there are large numbers of beautiful women already on the site, and also living just down the road from you.But the reality is – Sarah does not exist, nor does she have a profile on Benaughty, and nor do any of her friends.

I’ve also seen a link that simply says “More steamy daters here!

I’ve seen descriptions of people wanting to curl into a ball and cry while their partners are with other people. I just don’t think that going through pain and suffering is somehow the hallmark of a “worthy relationship”. It’s too close to the mindset of the woman who is proud of herself for her endurance when it comes to accepting an abusive mate.

I’ve even had communication with people who wanted me to help them be okay with having sex with people they didn’t want to sleep with, but partners wanted them to because they thought that was “how you did poly”. Poly is not martyrdom, and taking pride in being a martyr isn’t going to help you live to the fullest. It’s a preference that has no more to do with goodness, enlightenment or value than preferring linguine to rice. Maybe they saw it as a way to try to stay together. I’m not saying polyamorous/monogamous pairing are bad. But in the good ones, the monogamous member isn’t curling up in a ball when his polyamorous partner is out with another love, either.

If you hate it, if it feels wrong, if you feel dirty or betrayed or like you have to force yourself into something: Maybe poly isn’t for you. There are dozens of reasons why people make themselves try to be okay with poly. In a healthy poly/mono pairing, the monogamous partner has his own full life, ya know.

She’s not curled into a ball weeping when her partner isn’t with her.

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